The most important impression that we make on others is the first one. The way they perceive us right from the beginning of our relationship, during the first minute of the first meeting, will leave a lasting impression in their memory, consciously or unconsciously. It will take a lot of efforts to change the first feeling that we give another person, especially if it is not a good one.

Many business persons consider that their first handshake should be firm to show their strength of character and their confidence. This makes sense. However, we should notice that the first contact is not the handshake. Other forms of communication take place first. The first contact is an eye contact. Our eyes will meet the eyes of our counterpart before our hand shakes theirs. We also will observe each other's face, clothing and behavior before we come close enough and proceed with the handshake. We may as well exchange a cordial "Hello" or some other form of greeting and get a feeling from each other's voice before the handshake.

The first eye contact, the appearance and the voice provide those who know how to look and listen with quite a few pieces of information on the individual they are facing. This information falls into five categories:

1. Strength
Is the person strong, self-assured, successful?

2. Purpose
Does the person know why he/she is here? Has the person come to get a concrete result, or just to explore possibilities?

3. Quality
Does the person show good taste and good manners? Is the person demanding for quality?

4. Attitude
Is the person well balanced, or particularly proud, or particularly humble? Is the person going to be active or passive during the meeting? Is the person going to be cooperative or defensive? Is the person going to be helpful or cause trouble?

5. Coherence
Does all the above look like a combination that makes sense? Does it fit with what is expected from the meeting?

We can train ourselves to recognize these features in others. They will teach us in return what look we should have to create a correct impression on them. Generally speaking, a frank, honest look, a smiling facial expression and an open, cooperative attitude will be welcome in most cases.

As to the handshake itself, it comes as a confirmation of the above initial impressions. Making it too strong is as damaging as making it too soft or too moist, because it will show a lack of good sense and good measure. In all situations, I recommend to use a medium pressure that will balance firmness with respect for the sensitiveness of the other party. The average business handshake is short and precise. Making the handshake longer than one second or two will be perceived as expressing or emphasizing friendship, which may be appropriate or not, and welcome or not, depending on the situation.

The above observations are of course very important when someone goes to a job interview. Interviewers will compare various candidates not only according to their professional qualifications, but also according to their personality and the way their individual style will match the company's culture. This evaluation is highly subjective and begins with the first eye contact. According to my experience, presentation counts for as much as 70% in the impression that an interviewer keeps of a candidate two days after the interview.

Every candidate should have a sound judgment of what style the company expects. It makes sense to do some research and find out what people look like in the company beforehand. For example, most corporate websites provide useful hints as to the company's culture, and many of them show pictures of their senior executives. The most suitable candidate will be among those who fit in the company's environment naturally. This candidate will make the interviewer think "He/She is one of us".  If you don't know what style is expected in the company, it is better to play safe and position yourself a bit on the classic side. Being too classic seldom hurts. On the contrary, being too casual or too flashy often hurts. Being fashionable and trendy usually is appreciated. Wearing clothes or a tie that are visibly old and worn out will make you look weak. By all means, avoid dirty shoes. Going to the hair salon before an important interview always is a good idea, for both gentlemen and ladies. Finally, remember to switch off your mobile phone before interviews.

Ultimately, the way we look and behave will not save us if we say something wrong or inappropriate during business talks or an interview. Looking like a winner will not necessarily make us win. The objective that we should pursue by paying attention to our presentation simply is to be welcome by our business counterparts. Indeed, being welcome will definitely make the other party more open and receptive to what we want to tell them, which will greatly enhance our chances to make the conversation pleasant and productive to our advantage.

Eric Dieny is President of EMS Consulting executive search firm, Chairman of the Consulting Services Committee of the American Chamber of Commerce in Taipei, and a former co-Chairman of the China Business Committee and the Labor Affairs Committee of the same Chamber.

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